


Dante’s Bizarre Dinner Date

by DeosExMachina



Category: Apocrypha of an Iconoclast
Genre: M/M, Nova tries to be a matchmaker and fails miserably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 09:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18775528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeosExMachina/pseuds/DeosExMachina
Summary: Nova sets up Dante and Theo for a date, and cooks them a meal herself, but little does anyone know... Nova is the last person you should trust with your dinner.[Content warning for descriptions of gross food!]





	Dante’s Bizarre Dinner Date

Every day on the Isle of Tribulation had been mostly the same for Theo. The boy would wake up, go about a simple routine he made himself, and then go to bed. Nothing out of the ordinary happened to him, everything was rather bland, he thought. Where was the adventure? The romance? The Isle was nothing like he had hoped, and that crushed him.

Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it—Nova came to feel the Isle was too boring for her tastes, as well. She had made fast friends with Dante, from that first meeting where he shoved her into the water... the two of them were as close as could be, and the only other one that Nova felt as close to was Theo. 

All it took was a sudden realization that Nova had one day, staring into her mirror, that things would be more interesting if she would try to set some of the other Champions up with each other. But who...? She sat down at her desk, listing off all of those she knew, and if they would be good to set up with someone else. Reina... a little too weird. K4R9... not exactly a human. Celeste... already had something going on with Shigatsu.

She had gone through a good half of her peers on the island before she came to Theo. He was responsible, awkward, and silly at times. And then Dante... was loud, rowdy, and silly all the time. A mischievous grin spread across her face, as she hatched a plan to get them together. The first thing that came to mind when she was brainstorming what to do was a famous movie she had seen when she was younger, and a scene of two dogs sharing a plate of spaghetti. She knew Theo loved pasta, and that Dante would eat just about anything. It was perfect!

And so, Nova quickly darted off to the kitchen, and was about to get the robots to cook the meal for her. Realizing she wanted it to be home cooked, she shut them off, and began making it herself. Nova pondered for a moment. What was spaghetti, again? Just long noodles in some red sauce... but what was that sauce made of?

With no idea what she was doing, Nova had quickly whipped up something that vaguely resembled spaghetti. Satisfied with her handiwork, she set a single plate of it on one of the tables, got two candles from the souvenir shop, and waited until it was getting dark to enact her plan.

She slipped notes under Theo and Dante’s doors, both signed from a “secret admirer”, asking them to meet them at the restaurant. 

A few hours after Nova had slid it under his door, Theo stared down at the note he found. The words on it instantly turned his cheeks a pinker color—having a secret admirer wasn’t a part of his schedule. Did he have time for this...? With a quick check of his notebook, he realized he had nothing left to do in the day. Swallowing his apprehension and fighting the butterflies in his stomach, he crept to the restaurant.

Dante had arrived a while before Theo. Nearly the instant he saw his note, he knew he wanted to meet this secret admirer of his, and so he made his way to the restaurant. He had been sitting there for so long, at a table with a single plate of spaghetti, that he almost forgot what he was there for. Staring into space, only the jingling of bells used to signal someone entering the restaurant caught his attention.

At first, Theo couldn’t believe his eyes. Dante was sitting at a table with a single plate of spaghetti, two candles on the side, and dim lighting, perfect for setting the mood... he felt as though his heart was about to beat out of his chest. He opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out for a solid minute. “Umm... hi,” he managed to croak out after a minute.

The awkward response made Dante smile, not wanting to laugh at Theo who very clearly seemed flustered—and who Dante could only assume was the secret admirer he was waiting on. “Haha, it took you long enough! I’ve been waiting, you know?”

That response was all Theo needed to confirm that Dante was the secret admirer he had been told about. The two of them were completely unaware that they had been tricked... and by Nova, who was watching everything unfold from the kitchen with a cheerful grin. Her plan was going perfectly! Dante, her best friend; and Theo, who was like a brother to her... who better to get together? She already felt a sense of pride that her first mission as a matchmaker was going so smoothly.

Theo gingerly took a seat across from Dante, adjusting his scarf a bit in an attempt to hide how red his face was. “It’s really nice of you to, umm... to... y’know. Sorry I took so long.” He fiddled with his hands a bit, avoiding direct eye contact with the boy across from him.

“Aww, don’t worry about it, Theo! I’m just glad to be able to dig into this pasta.” Dante had a fork at the ready, and was about to tear into it, but was soon stopped by Theo’s concerned voice.

“Wait a minute... there’s only one? Like, for the both of us...?”

Dante shot Theo a confused look. Didn’t he make this for them? Shrugging it off, he soon replied. “Doesn’t matter to me! It’s gonna taste great either way.” Almost as though fate wanted to prove him wrong instantly, Dante dug his fork into the pasta, only to be greeted by the sound of something crunching. He cringed, and looked down at the plate. “What... what the hell was that?”

Theo looked horrified, and leaned over to get a closer look at the plate. “What could make that noise?” He took a fork as well, and lifted some of the pasta up. It seemed to be completely solidified in some parts, and the sauce was strangely grainy. “There’s something wrong with this pasta.”

Dante pulled some up with his fork, as well. He leaned over the plate, and took a big whiff of the forkful or hardened spaghetti he took. Instantly, his face curled up, and he looked like he had never smelt anything worse in his life. “Eugh! How does it manage to smell bitter, sour, and sweet at the same time?”

Theo gingerly copied his date’s actions, and made an equally disgusted expression in response. “It smells like bubblegum.”

Nova, still peering into the room, felt her blood run cold. This date was quickly becoming a disaster. Deciding to save face, she stood up, and snuck out a back entrance to the kitchen, hoping that Dante and Theo wouldn’t notice her running back to the hotel. And that was the last time Nova tried to make a home cooked meal for any of the other Champions.


End file.
